poolside

02 pool view

01 tanie & gwen

03 taylor & sky

05 taylor & gwen

06 trees & sky

Last Friday Taylor had the day off (he took that day instead of Canada Day, which was mid-week and would have messed up his sleep schedule too much) and I was still on vacation so in the morning we all went to the outdoor pool at Second Beach. Even Sym came*, which is kind of amazing. She’d actually been saying we should go to the pool but then when I told her we were going she was like “I can’t find my goggles I’M NOT GOING.” lol teens. Anyway her dad found her some she could wear and she actually hung out with us an had fun. Amazing.

Every summer I say we should go to the pool and every summer I can’t get my shit together to actually do it, so it was impressive that we made it at all. Although I’d walked by it many times I’d never checked the price and WOW is it ever cheap. The fees on the website are out of date but it’s about $6 for adults, $4.50 for youths, and free for babies & toddlers. There is also a family rate of $3.05 per person so it actually only cost $9.15 for us to get in.

I wanted to get there right when it opened at 10 but I’m super disorganized and didn’t sort anything out the night before. I had to go dig our beach towels out of the storage room and send Taylor to the store for snacks, so we got there at about 10:20. There was a small line at that time but it wasn’t crowded yet. On the weekends it gets SUPER busy though (which is why I wanted to go on Friday).

We stayed at the little kid end of the pool and had a blast, although it was super windy that day so we froze whenever we got out of the water. Gwen spent all her time out of the water curled up in my lap wrapped in multiple towels and my kimono (and she definitely peed on me at least once, dang you swim diapers!). If (when!) we go again I will definitely bring extra towels and really try to get there earlier.

*Sym is in just one of these pictures

burning

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picture by Taylor

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There are a ton of wildfires in BC right now and on the weekend the smoke from some of them flumped down on the city. Sunday morning I woke up early with Gwen to find the sky covered in weird yellowish-brown clouds. At first I was like “Is this just what clouds look like? Has it been so long I don’t remember?” but after Taylor woke up he confirmed for me that it was from the fires. The clouds were so eerie, but even stranger was the sun: it was like a weird reddish pearl in the sky. You could look right at it and see clouds moving across it’s face. In the late morning/early afternoon the sky cleared up for a bit, but then the clouds flooded back and dropped even lower, blanketing the streets with smoky haze and filling the city with the smell of burning wood. It’s still like that today, although it seems a little cooler maybe? I just hope we get some rain soon.

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picture by Taylor

happy day

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This is the most on-theme outfit I could get Gwen to wear; I said to Taylor the combination of robe-as-daywear and insane bedhead was giving me Baby Lebowski vibes and he replied that all she needed to complete the look was a virgin White Russian. So like. Milk.

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Happy Canada Day! I’m off all this week so it kind of doesn’t feel like a holiday for me? Taylor is taking Friday off instead of today (or last night, since his shift starts at midnight) and Sym is spending the day at her dad’s, so it’s just me & the babe this afternoon. We might go to the fireworks tonight, it depends on Gwen since they will be starting well past her bedtime and if she’s grumpy we aren’t going to bother. My only real Canada Day plans are to make a couple different flavoured syrups, having tacos for dinner, and remaking the banner I was working on yesterday that Gwen cut in half at some point before I woke up this morning.

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My July calendar page is up now, you can download it here.

what if it is broke?

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I woke up this morning in a mood. It’s a bad mood, a sad mood and a helpless mood. I’m feeling very “what is the point”-y. What is the point of this blog, what is the point of my shop, what is the point of all this hustling I try to do to get by. I kind of want to take a break from all internet stuff but hilariously, I can’t. Well, this blog I can, but not the shop.

I had a baby lined up to start full-time childcare in July, so I limped along all spring, broke as a joke because I knew once the summer hit everything would be ok. Then the parents changed their minds about starting childcare (the baby is only nine months old, the mom was going to go back to work early but decided to take the full year of mat leave after all). They never bothered to tell me so I actually turned down other people who were looking for care, and I only found out about their decision because I contacted them about their start date. They were like “oh we thought you would have found someone else by now anyway.” No, because you paid a deposit to hold the space and I am a FUCKING PROFESSIONAL. Anyway so now I’m totally stressed about money and I need the income from the shop to stop my flimsy financial house of cards from tumbling down.

But like… REALLY what is the point of it? I am not saying I don’t appreciate every customer who buys something from me, every person who promotes my shop and recommends it to their friends, everyone who reblogs my images on tumblr with the correct links for once, because I absolutely do, I appreciate it so much (especially now, yikes). But it’s not like it’s possible for me to make an actual living from it, so what I have right now is a second job on top of my regular job, one that eats up all my spare time. It’s been suggested to me that I could hire people to help, turn it into a real business but tbh I don’t want all that responsibility, and I don’t have the income or the sales volume to support it. Like, I sell just enough stuff for one person to make, so that person has to be me.

This weekend I was actually caught up enough on orders that I was able to work on the brown-suede-with-copper-stars fringed boots I started making for Gwen in like… March, as well as making a felt foxtail for her to wear. It was the first time in I don’t even know how long that I have been able to make something just for fun, and even as I was sewing the tail I was thinking to myself “Should I be photographing this for a DIY for my blog? Should I be listing tails like this in my shop?” The irony in that is even if I did no one would ever buy one, because in spite of my attempts to diversify my offerings, pretty much everything other than the banners has flopped.

I just get so tired of making banners sometimes! It can be so repetitive. I guess my hope is that if I offer other things for sale people will buy them and I will be making different stuff all the time so I’ll never get bored. It doesn’t work out like that though, and I have to ask myself what is the point of trying to make other things to sell if no one wants them? I should just make what I want for my kids and myself, right? But with all the banners I have to make I rarely have the time, and if I do have the time I usually don’t want to spend it making stuff for fun because I’m ALWAYS making stuff for work.

idk idk. Really I should just stop dragging my heels and get my childcare license again (it expired when I was on maternity leave but I haven’t bothered to get it back, and have just been license-not-required since I started working again). Then I wouldn’t have to worry about money and I could run the shop if I want or shut it down if I want. Of course that opens a whole new can of worms because when I think about getting licensed again I have an anxiety attack and want to go to bed forever instead. I just… like I like kids and most of the families I’ve worked with, but I’m so tired of being screwed over. I’m tired of people changing their minds at the last minute, or not giving proper notice, or expecting me to bend over backwards for them and then fucking me over anyways. It’s so stressful I want to cry, and when I’m licensed there’s just so much more opportunity to get dicked around. I just cannot even deal with it. Anyway. I’m on vacation this week (from my real job) and I guess I need to really sit down and figure out what the heck I’m going to do with my life, because right now it is not working.

waffles & sprained ankles

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eating dinner in the pediatric examination room

Last night Taylor and I got to celebrate his special day by taking a fun trip to the emergency room at St. Paul’s Hospital (I keep hearing all this noise about plans to move the hospital out of downtown and I hope that never happens, it is very convenient having the hospital half a block away). Earlier in the day she fell off one of the dining room chairs and as the afternoon progressed she went from walking on the edge of her foot with her toes curled under, to walking on her knees and refusing to even stand up.

The hospital was a super fun adventure as Gwen’s highly developed sense of STRANGER DANGER meant she started screaming and howling BEFORE the doctor examined her leg. It wasn’t really possible to tell what sort of pain she was in so she had to have her leg x-rayed. Of course she didn’t want the x-ray technician (who was SO NICE AND PATIENT) to talk to/look at her either which led to more howling. She wouldn’t lie down or hold still for the x-ray, so in the end both Taylor and myself had to lead-apron up and hold her leg in place while trying to keep our hands out of the shot.

In spite of this they were able to get what the needed and with no apparent fractures or deformities she was diagnosed with a sprained ankle. The doctor told us it should heal quickly and that within 24 to 48 hours she be back to her regular self (although if she’s not we should bring her back in). So far today she seems to be doing really well; she was standing at the door when I got her up this morning and she’s been walking on her feet and even twirling, running, and climbing (including up onto the very same chair she fell off yesterday, why must you do this, baby?).

Even though we were fast tracked at the ER we still got home quite late and so we skipped bath, instead giving her a bottle, brushing our teeth (she likes us to brush while she brushes) and going straight to bed. Gwen’s bedtimes have thankfully become less of a struggle recently. She likes to sit up in bed and have us read her a book or two before we turn off the lights and close the door. She usually cries for a minute or two but then falls asleep without problem. She won’t let us tuck her in and stays sitting up while we leave, but if we check on her in the night she’s always fixed up her bed and tucked herself in. She still sleeps through the night just fine and has even been sleeping in a little in the mornings, waking at 7 or 7:30 instead of 5:30 or 6.

PS Taylor’s Father’s Day wasn’t just about the hospital. In the morning her got presents: Campfire Cologne and Canoeist Beard Oil from the Sanborn Canoe Company, and a new pair of sandals to replace the ones Georgie chewed up. I also made him a special brunch of homemade waffles with fresh blackberries, raspberries (regular & golden), whipped cream and lemon-wild rose syrup, which tragically didn’t thicken enough but was still delicious.

summer living

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01lagoon&fountain

02gwen&flowers

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04gwen&ducks

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09horsetails

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It’s this time of year, more than any other, that I wish we had a car. I would love to be able to get out of the city and into nature more easily, but I guess I can settle for the nature we have here in the city: blue skies, green trees, white flowers, red berries, and a little flower-booted forest elf who brings a giant stuffed carrot to the lagoon.

talk | slide

01gwenwalkgate

03silverdollars

04redhollyhock

02gwentablesit

05georgiegarden

06gwenwalklane

07treesskylight

08shadowsongrass

10bigtree

11mapleleaves

09gwenyellowflowers

12stream

I haven’t mentioned Gwen’s delayed speech/her progress recently. She is still on the recall list with the speech pathologists, which means they call us every few months to ask if we want to bring her in. I haven’t taken her in since our initial appointment at the beginning of the year, as her speech and vocabulary have continued to improve. She now says the names of the pets, certain colours and letters, and many more household objects and toys. She says mama and dada all the time, and for some reason she calls Sym “Dee.” My most recent fave was the other day when I was watching the X-Files while I worked on banners and every time someone was abducted by aliens she cry out “oh no, oh nooooooo!” Totally the appropriate response imo.

gwenfuchsias

May long weekend when we were in Kelowna we were supposed to have a barbecue on Sunday night with homemade sliders, but because we left early (due to Gwen’s refusal to sleep) we missed it. This was super disappointing, so my new thing this summer is making sliders on Friday nights. Now, I’ve kind of quit eating meat I have to prepare myself because it grosses me out to the point where I can’t eat it*, so I’ve been making veggie sliders. It’s super easy, I just buy the Yves veggie burgers**, cut each patty into thirds (in wedges, like a pie) and sort of smoosh each wedge back into a round patty shape. You can also use a round cookie or biscuit cutter with a 2.5″ diameter to make circles, but you will only get two and then you’ll have to REALLY squish the scraps together to get the third patty.

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Gwen loves ’em.

The first week I just made simple cheeseburgers with mozzarella, but last week I got more creative and topped the sliders with caramelized onions and smoked gouda. I asked Taylor what he thought I should do this week and he suggested something spicy, but then he was like “get a cheese with jalapeños in it and put chipotle sauce on the pattie sand top them with pickled banana peppers!” and I’m kinda like CALM DOWN GUY, THE KIDS HAVE TO EAT THESE TOO. Sym won’t eat anything spicy and idk how much spicy stuff Gwen should/could be eating, so I think I should just stick to ONE spicy element at a time.

* Except for bacon, cooking bacon doesn’t gross me out… YET
** I didn’t eat these for a couple years bc soy is a goitrogen, ie not rad for your thyroid, but now that my Graves’ is in remission I’m adding it back into my diet. Not kale though. Never kale.

anewshelves

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In other news, last weekend Taylor and I spent a whole day putting up assorted shelves around the house. The shelves that used to hold Gwen’s books until she and her lil friend pulled them right out of the wall like baby hulks are now in my office. I already had three longer shelves on one wall so I put these on the other wall at the same heights so there would be a cohesive look, and with the new space I’ve been having lots of fun rearranging my pictures and putting up new art, including pieces from The Disaster Life, Sara M Lyons and Sebastien Millon. I also hung up this new lil gradient banner I made for myself last week, you can get one for yourself here.

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06hydrangeas

07playgroundsnack

08parkgwen

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09parkgwen

10dogwoodandrowan

11coolbaby

12sunthrutrees

13stream

01sleepyqueen
sleepy queen on the couch, the only naps she’ll have at home these days

14blossomsa

15blossomsb

16plantsandsky

17babyhollyhock

20hotdog
Georgie is like… “it’s too hot”

18poppy

19flowers

Gwen’s little friend has been sick for almost a week with various ailments so we’ve been flying solo for a while. On the one had it’s kind of nice to have lazy days off but on the other hand Gwen gets bored with just her boring old mom to play with. I am a stickler for following the rules around here (I did make them) so I’m never really up for climbing on the counters or unspooling a whole roll of toilet paper or throwing food on the floor. BORING. I’ve been trying to alleviate the dullness by taking her on lots of outings to parks and playgrounds, but I also have a lot of work I need to do at home (both actual housework AND work on banners) so I can’t really be out wandering the streets for hours every day. The result is we end up watching WAY too much Yo Gabba Gabba just so I can get some work done, so I really hope her friend is better soon!

high summer

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this is literally the deepest she’s ever gone in the water

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whenever we go to the beach I like to pick some shells or stones or seaglass to bring home, and this weekend I was all about finding the teeniest-tiniest ones I could

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I know I KNOW it’s not even summer yet, it’s still spring, but around here you take your summer when you can get it. There’s no telling if July and August will be super rainy so if our summer is early June then so be it. After a few grey-ish days early last week the weekend was AMAZING. Taylor is back to work on Fridays now so when I ended up with a surprise day off I took Gwen to Second Beach, just the two of us. It was kind of spontaneous and neither of use were dressed for the beach, so on Saturday we actually got all our stuff together before heading down to English Bay. It was just… a perfect day. It was sunny and bright with a breeze off the water that stopped it from being too hot, and the beach wasn’t too crowded while we were there (although it was starting to get packed as we were leaving). Some police horses came walking along through the surf and everyone ran down to pet them. A family was blowing giant bubbles for the kids to chase around, including this one which almost got me:


Gwen had so much fun, last year she didn’t even like to walk on the sand and this year she has no problem running down the beach and into the water. She splashed around in her little flamingo suit, dug in the sand with her shovels and ate a ton of beach snacks, before passing out, sweaty and sandy and sunscreeny, in the stroller home. Here’s to many more beach days this summer (and spring)!

wakeful

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02gwenbeach

03seaweed

05gwenshore

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06gwenshorehalo

07tanieheron

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Gwen doesn’t take an afternoon nap anymore. When I tell people they always shriek “WHAT??? SHE’S ONLY TWO!!!” but it’s what is happening and we are all powerless to stop it. Last week (on Wednesday and Thursday) I gave it one final attempt and tried to put her down for a nap. She didn’t sleep either day, but she did dismantle her whole room, throw books everywhere, take off a poopy diaper, tap dance in it and then climb all her furniture with poopy feet. So basically… NEVER AGAIN. Instead she falls asleep in her stroller when we are out running errands, or she falls asleep on the couch curled up next to us. The latter is so sweet and takes me back to when she was a tiny baby, I don’t even miss her taking a proper nap (except for when I have a lot of work that needs to get done, then I definitely miss it).