the answer

When I was pregnant with Symphony I really wanted to have a girl. It was just a feeling I had and when I had my ultrasound I pestered the technician to tell me, which you could still do in those days, and eventually they reluctantly told me “well I can’t be 100% certain because the position of the fetus isn’t 100% optimal, but if I had to guess, which I’m doing, I would say it’s probably maybe a girl, but I’m not sure so don’t quote me on that.” So obviously I did quote them on that and told everyone I was having a girl. I just FELT like I was having a girl, I knew it in my heart.

With Gwen I really wanted a girl again, and when I found out that I’d have to wait (and wait and wait) for my doctor to get the results of the scan before finding out I was beyond frustrated. Of course it didn’t help that the family doctor I was still seeing at that time was super useless and never bothered to follow up with the ultrasound clinic on why she hadn’t received my results, and in fact I was the one who tweeted at and called the hospital to find out what was going on myself. I mean it’s not like there are serious conditions that can be detected via ultrasound which are more likely in a mother who is 35 years old or anything! Anyway, after something like six weeks of waiting I was happy to finally learn that the baby growing inside me was another girl, just like I wanted.

This pregnancy was something of a surprise, seeing as how we had JUST decided we were done having babies, but a happy one nonetheless. It was also different from the very beginning as I had no strong feelings one way or the other about the sex of this baby. Another little girl would be cool but a tiny little mini Taylor would be great too! Before I had my ultrasound last week I had expressed to my doctor that I was interested in finding out the sex if it was possible, but tbh I kind of didn’t care? It wasn’t like my previous pregnancies where I think I would have needed to get “used to” the idea of having a boy (some people hate it when you say stuff like that and will tell you if you can’t handle the idea of your baby being a certain sex then you don’t even deserve to have a baby YOU MONSTER but like… you don’t know my life and you don’t control my feelings? So like shut up?). I just don’t have a preference this time and I think that’s pretty alright.

As I mentioned in my last post I’ve kind of been considering not announcing the sex this time. I just… didn’t want to deal with it? I knew yesterday that my doctor had the results of my detailed ultrasound but I had to wait for her to call me. I kept my phone with me so I didn’t miss the call but when 5 o’clock came and went with no phone call I wasn’t even bent up about it? I figured she would call me today and this morning she did. Or rather, her receptionist did, and I’m super pleased to announce that the sex of the baby is I don’t fucking know. No one does! Because they couldn’t tell! And I kind of feel relieved about it! So I guess we will just find out in October when the baby is born, since my pregnancy has been super normal and all my test results and scan results are super normal so there’s no reason for additional ultrasounds. I mean, the only way we could find out would be if we paid to have one done at a private clinic, or for genetic testing, which ahaha no. If I had the extra money to spend on that I would put it on my credit card bill tbh.

Baby Laramie, everything TBD, giving everyone the thumbs up. I think. Is that a hand? Honestly who knows with this baby.

All gradient images from Colorful Gradients: 1 2 3